paradox

2005-10-18T03:13:00.000+08:00

moved (:

2005-10-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

hahas.

MSN convos are funny :D

2005-10-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

I WANT A DIGICAM!
:D

cant wait to get my pay on the
freaking third day.
and work ends.
yayy yayy.

2005-10-06T22:04:00.000+08:00

ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS YOU.

haha.
xiu just sent me this song.
and i feel damn christmas-y now!!
haha isnt it too early for this..

starting work tmr.
OMG.
i dnt feel lke gg anm,
aft i went for the briefing tdy.
i thot receptionist's jst gg to pick up
calls!!
but apparently..
u need to go collect newspapers, letters,
sort them out one by one, do the paycheck thg,
stamp the envelopes, MAKE BEVERAGES FR THE GUESTS.
i sure will put extra sugarrr or milk for them.
or no.. if thr's salt, thts evn better!
but anw, this is just to reinforce wht ive gta do tmr.
omg so scared!

haha.
byebye.

2005-10-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK.

SOMEONE JUST PISSED ME OFF SO BADLY.
ARGH.
DAMN U.

did i mention i hate ppl without sms
etiquettes?

2005-10-04T21:03:00.000+08:00

HI, its been awhile.

my mum gt me this parttime job
at e company shes working at.
haha as a RECEPTIONIST!
i wonder hw its like.
but at least i can knock off with my mum (:
yes, i love my mum. haha.

then thr's starbucks.
i hope then, i still will have time to
meet up with evryone!
aft their promos.

the lazybums will have a proper outing.
the suckies will have the long awaited gathering.
the FMUS will laugh and have fun agn.
the perverts will eat ice cream and be happy.
:D

i kind of enjoy being alone these days (:

anyhow,
here's wht we've discussed tht day.
when we were comtemplating if we shld
run aft the bus.

came up with this.
stimes it just tks a lil more effort,
in order to catch tht bus.
(u just hafta walk a lil faster, dnt evn need
to run)
but stimes, no matter hw fast u run,
the bus leaves without you.

and wai suddnly brought up,
WHAT IF THE BUS WAS THR AND
ALREADY LEFT..
how true.
BUT yeah.
we'll just have to wait for the next bus (:

mmm..
maybe this is crap to sm ppl.
but i think it makes alot of sense!
esp to those tht understands.
right, wai?

i guess ive been feeling sth like
corrinne may's music. haha.

2005-09-28T12:03:00.000+08:00

was looking thru my past entries and found these.
still makes me smile a great deal! =)

entry 386
name: monkeee
email:
url:
message: MONK ! i rem liaoo. today i went to find u in the canteen to tell you abt it. but i forgot again. :X here goes: i dreamt tht i went to yer hse and u moved back to yer old room. (which you did ryt?) u painted yer walls lite purplee (i think, but its damn nice)and u decorated yer whole room until chaochaoo nice! and u cleaned yer room! yer room was so nice clean and vrethg. so when i woke up, i thought it was real. then i thought, cant be laa. like u will clean. hahah but it kinda motivated me anws. silly. ohwell. takecaree!
date: 12:17 am - Monday,June 30, 2003

entry 436
name: qing :)
email:
url:
message: XIN!! sad u dint go to sch for the past 2 days :( was so quiet ard lor. a bit not used to it. then is like feel as if everytime missing someone. get well soon yeah? hope to see u back in sch soon! loveyas :)))

date: 11:17 am - Thursday,July 31, 2003

entry 478
name: penknife
email:
url:
message: heyy xinzie! :D hahas. ytd was seriously darn fun rightt? hahas. was seriously enjoying myself laughing my butt off & how we threw qing's wallet on the floor to peep & see if its her j. so funny! :D hahas. gonna be seeing you later eh? wheeeee :)
date: 11:47 pm - Friday,December 19, 2003

hahas thr's smre.
but too lazy to paste anm.

but yeah!
really miss those ppl :(
from seeing them evryday..
to NOW. once in a blue moon?
hahas.

2005-09-27T22:33:00.000+08:00

dilemma.

yes evryone deserves a second chance.
but..
once bitten twice shy.

which shld i follow?

2005-09-25T12:31:00.000+08:00

Man U lost! oh man..
haha didnt watch e match in e end.
was so amused by lang man man wu? (tht korean show)
for 2hours.
my mum shot me funny glances whenever
she walked past me in e living room.

cause i was laughing damn loudly.

ok nuff of tht..

gg to visit my baby cousin later! =)
yayy!
and then jiam's place for steamboat!
haha.

at least i know now that my feelings
werent misplaced last time.
(:

2005-09-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

shall update a lil before e match begins.
damn i should have bet!
haha.

oh anw.
the hols was spent erm..
helping out, learning new stuffs, soccer(WATCHING NT PLAYIN. DUH),
hanging out.
ok just basically trying to pass my time sooner.
omg can sch start soon..
but then agn.. i'll be having new clsmates!
omg. :l

i cant wait for evryone to finish their promos too!
haha gatherings ppl!

been in qt a good mood frm yesterday.
well i dnt knw why.
mayb just nth tht gets me down.
Esplanade last night.
and it's really nice to be discussing abt the
architecture of it w smone else who understands.
haha ok this sound weird
but yeah! hahas.

having absolutely NO plans for nxt wk.
and this is so bad!
im gg to die from boredom lah!
as wht fish says..
I NEED TO GET A LIFE!
haha.
mayb i shld get a job?
but then agn..
hahas.

mmm i think thts all.
wht an incoherent entry.
shldve just point formed evrth.

hahas.
tk care evryone!

2005-09-16T13:02:00.000+08:00

it seems that if i continue this way,
sth real bad is going to happen soon.

2005-09-04T23:37:00.000+08:00

HIATUS.

2005-08-28T22:45:00.000+08:00

YOU cheer me up like you always do..
(:

as for that,
to hell with it.
though im feeling damn sour abt it.

2005-08-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

ComDI, VisCo and Dadra cleared!
:D
double yayys.

four more subj to go.
cant wait! hehh.

i almost forgot abt this till the pain came.
i mean literally.
cos i cut my index finger this mrng and
i fainted.
damn this is one hell of an experience,
it sucks totally!
but i finished my VisCo. haha.
thts to comfort myself.

oh yes
wai,
yes we dont need words at all.
(:

off to do my two point perspective now.
damn.

2005-08-23T20:46:00.000+08:00

had blogged a few times before this,
but for some reasons i just dont feel
like publishing my entries.

mayb cos im too confused with my thoughts.

its just difficult to let go what you've been
holding onto.

but on a lighter note,
my cousin's born into this world!
okay this sounds really cheesy,
but looking at him just wash all my
worries and unhappiness away. :D

and and,
the long awaited sem hols is here!
tho im nt sure wht im gna do.
mayb get a real job or be a babysitter
(yes, i know ure laughing), erm or
just SLACK AT HOME FOR 7WKS.
okay i hope this doesnt happen!

cleared my Dadra and it feels
REALLY GOOD! :D
no more AutoCad for the mmt.
hehh.
looking forward to clearing the rest!
ONE and HAlf WEEK more! :D

laters (:

2005-08-16T23:32:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for the wkends.
like wht wai say,
our lil surreal world tgt.
tht is, with the lazybums!
LOL, recalled our fantasy last wk.
rent a studio and mke it into our place.
ahhhhh.

oh my, i wna watch the wedding crashers!
heard its darn funny.

how fast time flies eh?
before long it'll be the hols.
time to ponder on wht to do then.

but to sum it up,
this wk had been goood so far.
evn tho only two days had passed.
(im counting dwn to the wkends!)

YB and GBL made my day :D

you broke your promise,
like you always do.

2005-08-14T11:17:00.000+08:00

had a fab sat.
so much so tht i didnt wnt it to end.

i love the LAZYBUMS! :D

i mean,
we had wnted to go swim at sunglade.
in the end, we went up and slacked till
LUNCH.
we were almost too lazy to go for it.
lunched at kovan.
bought stuffs back.
slacked again.
went for a SWIM (finally sth healthy)
while xiu went paedophile-ing, erm actually me too.
i waved at this cute lil boy and he waved back at me!
whtsmore, he gave me TWO flying kisses,
awwwwwww...
aft swim, went prata place for dinner.
then back home slack agn.
in the end, we were jst to lazy to move,
so we stayed over.
with the newly improved facility, which is the
SOFA, it was jst awesome mans.

LOL. i sound like i was in heaven for the past day.
well indeed i think i was.

and one more thing,
who cares abt bastards when we have our girlfriends
ard?
(:

2005-08-12T21:52:00.000+08:00

till today,
i didnt realise how much i miss you.

honestly.

2005-08-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

the past few days were spent
as if i were living a dream.
sth like tht.

and the thing is,
why do i have to wake up.

hello boy,
why dont we talk no more.

2005-08-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

oooohh...

msn-ed with bear and zhu.
really made me :)

haha talking to bear made me feel so old!
like my days in SN was so long ago!
oh man.
heard tht this yr's xu bie was damn good :D
i cant rmb much abt our xubie's events,
but i can still rmb the kind of warmth it gave me.
tht kind of belonging yknw.
and the no-feeling was actually due to the
fact i didnt feel i was gg to say bye bye.
ok, bear understood wht i was saying.
what a sweet jnr (:

haha and zhu.
he was sayin if i were thr in Ngee Ann,
things might be better cos he cld crap w me,
at least. LOL.

haha yeah if i were thr in Ngee Ann.
mmmmm.
okay mayb i think too much.

2005-08-06T21:52:00.000+08:00

ooohh.
had a :D day with my fav partner!
Kboxed in the mrng.
then shoppingQ!
we are now v excited to getting our
so called cool shoes. LOL.
her frog and princess shoes.
and my ___ (i haven given them a name).
tht was enough to kp us happy for the whole
day. cos thr's nth to buy ! :(
b4 tht we were so freakin sian can.

mmm.
saw wendy and stephanie.
angela and ru!
wht a st-nicks-bump-into day.
nonetheless, it mkes me (:

132 home.
LOL. this ride home brings back LOTS of
memories.
the bittersweet feeling.

anw,
celebrated Xinni bday ytd!
caught charlie and the chocolate factory,
with Renee, Weizhen and Jonathan.
tht show's DAMN DAMN nice!
worth evry cent of money u paid.

im on this holiday mood as u can see.
and i haven touched my work for the past three days.
well actually, i haven done much for the past wk.
the only thg i wnted to do ws to slp.
(evn now)
might be due to last wk's buring of midnight oil
and stuffs.
haha. BUT! i shld do my part to celebrate s'pore
bday right! OK CRAP.

okay thts it.
im heading for my bed again.

2005-08-06T00:07:00.000+08:00

wtf.

i just merely asked you one fcuking qn
and u had to shout.
then u scold me for raising my voice.
God knows where reason is.

one day i might just move out
cos i cant stand ur tantrums anm.

2005-08-04T22:54:00.000+08:00

to avoid mre disappointments comin my way,
i tell myself not to be attached to anyth.
not to get involved in anyth.

but im afraid thts making me too detached.

2005-08-03T00:33:00.001+08:00

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I’ll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I’ll always love
I’ll be there as soon as I can
But I’m busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I’ll always love
I’ll be there as soon as I can
But I’m busy mending broken pieces of the life
I had beforeI’ll be there as soon as I can
But I’m busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you

im totally hooked to this song!
courtesy of Marianne who sent me this song!

and wake me up when september ends from Gwen!
(:

2005-08-03T00:18:00.000+08:00

yesterday was pretty good.
but today kind of sucked.

k anw,
i was intending to skip LigST ytd cos i cldnt find
a plan and my stomach felt funny.
but Marianne woke me up at 850 and i rushed to
sch by 920! LOL. on call cab.
luckily kk nvr signed me late.
and the plan i had was accpetable!
haha.

went Artfriend with Jonathan, Marianne and Xinni.
had a pretty interesting talk in BK.
LOL.
went National Lib to explore first.
then to Artfriend.
then went Fareast.
damn tired. i didnt have mood to do my wk.
haha.
conference talk w Marianne and Gwen at night.
:D

today was bad lahh.
damn unlucky GRR.

shant talk abt it anm.
on my way to finishin my SPFEX learning journal.
LOL my reflections get shorter each wk.

2005-07-31T23:15:00.000+08:00

once again, i question the credibility of human beings.

i dont like going thru this phase.
neither do i lke to lose wht ive been clinging on to.

2005-07-31T01:06:00.000+08:00

my bro and i likes to laugh at ppl in friendster.
haha.
it really gets qt funny stimes.

met up with pervert today.
caught up a lil at the prata place.
PERVERT!
no matter what, stay optimistic, focused
and NOT INVOLVED! haha.
tht'll be our pervert aim.
haha we tend to get erm affected easily?
but no matter wht, your pervert loves you!
:D

slacked for the whole day.

oh yeah. went for a haircut.
and my fringe's freaking short now.
i dnt like.
and its too thin.
i dnt like it too.
so basically, i dnt like my new haircut
evn tho it looks almost the same.
haha.
i think i shant bore anyone anm with details
of my boring sat. haha.
saturdays have becum so boring evr since the
assignments came. haha.

2005-07-29T22:26:00.000+08:00

thanks Gwen :)

hate it when i get disappointments like tht.
i wont harbour hopes anm.

2005-07-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

mmm am in a pretty good mood now.
im like damn inspired!
and erm, i think i found my direction, smhow.

pervert!
ive got so much stuffs to tell you!
(:

2005-07-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

boring day.
i spent my day doing my work
and worrying abt hw to complete them.
MTPRE's impossible. mayb i'll do it in sch.
but im nt too sure hw to do it.

and hurray.
i finished Visco, after 5-6 hrs.
and now on my way to finishing Ligst.
tho i dno hw many hrs more tht wld take.
i spent 6 hrs on the report itself.
and now on the presentation.

have to stayover at my aunt's place agn.
im so gg to get my printer fixed.

was planning to COLOR photcopy my stuffs.
but they only got black and white.
so when i rched here, i stoned for like half an hr.
didnt knw wth i can do.

luckily Xinni told me shes gg sch to print also.
phew.

stress man.
and i hate lookin at my face now.
red humongous spots staring back at me.
my mum seems evn mre annoyed w these spots
than me. haha.
keep asking me to do this and that. LOL.
but now tht ive got so much to do,
ive got alot mre privileges as well!
haha. my aunt jst gave me money to tk a cab to sch tmr.
my mum's much sweeter now too.
haha.. she just msged me 'Poor thing. take care.'
LOL!

sleeping seems so foreign now.

haha i seem to blog much mre often these days.
its like in the middle of the night, whr else can u
rattle on and on cept for blog?

2005-07-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

hello.
i just finish HALF of visco aft erm three hrs.
omg. this is mailto:!@##$%&^&^% !

okay nvm. lets talk abt happy thgs.
erm.
went sch this mrng to do sm research..
thn towed home three heavy books.
then went to meet the lazybums. for prata!
THIS IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY.
but a pity it was so short! one hr only!
miss them super alot (haha bird's language)
i hope we get a proper outing soooooon!!
then tuition with my cousin.
tht horrible girl. or brat i shld say.
she was like 'my mum says one hr only hor,
i very hungry, want to eat my dinner soon,
hurry hurry hurry, SEE YOU I WNA PUKE.'
(loosely translated with mandarin)
and at the end of the tuition,
she ran 'hurry hurry, i wna puke alr!'
in case ure wondering, she speaks like
this EVERY single day.
to almost everyone haha.
LOL but i found it rather amusing tho.
and ive got my pay today! yayyy!

and then dinner with my fam.
came home.
did my Visco.

haha now ysee why meeting the LAZYBUMS
was the highlight of my day.
i have no life basically.
hahaha.

byebye.

2005-07-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

phew.

after a sleepless night, i was still unable to finish my
COMDI! argh.
i cldnt produce anyth for MTPRE either.

haha but thanks for Gwen's and Jonathan's help,
i managed to finish my ComDI by 5pm! yayyy.
and my colour! double yay.

:)

so basically, im in a lighter mood now.

met up with xiu aft that.
been such a long time since ive rly seen her?
walked, eat and talked.
we spen
haha too bad wai cant come!
she went to watch Helmi's play. hahaha.

decided to forfeit any activities tmr to go back sch,
draw my Visco, find info for LigST and Dadra.
that is, if i can resist any temptation to go and slack agn.
-_-''

haiya. i wish i have more than 24 hours a day.

2005-07-22T01:51:00.000+08:00

thanks for all the msges and gbk entries.
(:
im feeling much better now.

okay anw,
i didnt go sch tdy.
was intending to fake MC but im down w fever.
must be the bloody 93423y892 number of sleepless nights
i had.
evn while sleepin, i dreamed of ComDI. (wtf)
and tonight's another one agn :(
i wna head right back to my bed BUT!
i still have one more essay to go.
and i think i'll tk eons to complete.
imagine ive been doin it since 12pm till now?
okay got breaks in btwn, like i went to get my
pay (hooray!) and the bank. okay i think i'll spare
the details.

if this goes on, u wont see xin anm.
i'll be dead.
LOL.

and tht visco which i haven touched on..
the MRPRE.
and colour. :(

damn cranky and whteva now.
big read disgusting pimples on my face,
black eye rings getting darker!

oh was supposed to meet the lazybums for
K-ing session on sat.
thinking it might be good to destress aft all these.
but i think i might nt be able to mke it aft all.
all i wna do is to sleep now!
ive nvr stayed up so late to do my work before!
and smre i have early lesson tmr
(which i very much feel like ponning, but i cant)

i sound freaky whiny now.
im super cranky without sleep!
grr. shall go do essay now. :(

2005-07-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

what's the point of anyth when u turn ard and
realised thr's no one walking with you?

how fcuking ironic.
i created this sculpure blabberin abt hoping to
inspire ppl, giving them hope.
yeah right, i cant even do that to myself.

this myriad of emotions,
i cant comprehend either.

might be stress or the culmination of all the bad thgs.

i wish i have smone to talk to.
but apparently, i cant evn open my mouth to tell
anyone whts bothering me.

and the only person i wna turn to is you.
yet, you chose to turn away.

recalled pervert's motto.
what wont kill us will only make us stronger.

sure enough this shit ive been thru this yr made
me stronger.
but it made me jaded as well.
ive lost the slightest desire to hope for anyth
at all.

whats the point of hoping for anyth when you jolly
well knw that in the end, you go back to square one.

i realise i have nothing, nothing at all.

2005-07-17T20:18:00.000+08:00

Miss Low Wai Ling has just made me :D

go read.
hehh. u get the whole story.
i thank God for a friend like her.
love her plentys!
even tho we call each other bitch.
haha we are just being affectionate.
ok kidding.

- xin ; you're such a bitch, but i love you anyway (: says:
scold them lah!

LARI. somebody has a big mouth. says:
how to?

- xin ; you're such a bitch, but i love you anyway (: says:
call using public fone

- xin ; you're such a bitch, but i love you anyway (: says:
then say

- xin ; you're such a bitch, but i love you anyway (: says:
U BITCH

- xin ; you're such a bitch, but i love you anyway (: says:
and hang up

LARI. somebody has a big mouth. says:
pervert dont be childish can?

LARI. somebody has a big mouth. says:
hahah

okay i think tht part whn Lari scolds me was funny.

my god! im missing them so much!
these ppl i'd nvr regret knwing. (:

think i can forget about sleeping this week.
those freaking assignments ar..
HAI.

songs.. they bring back memories.

ohoh.
did sm brain test just now.
results show tht i suck at focusing.
WHICH IS VERY TRUE.
my god.

this entry is utterly incoherent.
haha.
my thoughts are really random these days,
cant seem to put them in place.

2005-07-16T11:58:00.000+08:00

im on my way to completing my sculpture model..
(hope so)
i cldnt meet the lazybums cos of that!
GRR.
really wished i didnt procrastinate.
yeah whteva..
its nt like i've learnt my lesson.

anw, THU was SUCKIES DAY! :D
i miss them aplenty!
ah cheng, steffi, bird and fish!
a pity it was so short..
but im rly glad to see them anw!

miss the st nicks times..

went AMK central to have porridge ytd.
Jubilee as well.
really mde me damn nolstagic.
miss the fckers.
and dinah.
cos we used to go thr evry other day for porridge.

evn tho we have the occasion chats.
but things aint like before anm.
we used to see one another evryday.
but i haven seen carol, qing, yins, dinah, kiat.
wend, weiting for eons!

hai.. i really miss those times.

really really hope for a fckers gathering!

2005-07-13T22:41:00.000+08:00

after reading ___'s blog,
realised so many ppl opt for the tgt yet not tgt status.
okay u guys get wht i mean.

kinda strange/weird/contradicting, what say you.

ironically,
im one of these ppl im talking abt.

the length of time does not assure anyth either.
esp when feelings fade and things change.
like us.

2005-07-13T21:45:00.000+08:00

smbdy kill me pls!
i still haven touched on my assignments.
okay this is very irritatin. :x

hurrhurr.
gg back sch tmr to do my work.
with supposedly Gwen, Jon, Xinni and Taibin.
and to discuss abt sat's outing!
fun fun.
but it btr nt be like wht Taibin said..
ltr i cant go cos i HAVEN FINISHED MY HWK!

but dang.
having headache+sore throat now.
:(

oh anw,
went for tht APEL thg today.
Peter Sam is so inspiring i swear!
Xinni agrees with me!
haha.
then towned with Xinni.
aft which went to meet Xiu.
tht poor girl.. hadta acc me to Bras Besar's ArtFriend
holding her laptop and walking to Bugis to catch tht
damn 80 which is so SLOW.
okay im ready to start on my sculpture!
others have alr completed it.
haha.

oh wells.
byebye.

chatting with ms low wailing now.
abit RATE CONSTANT.
okay i shall tell her abt my EBI FRY.
yayyy!
EBIFRY mde my day!

2005-07-12T22:37:00.000+08:00

havent really had a break these few days.
haha but oh wells,
had alot of fun anw :D

went to ACM ytd.
haha like wht jonathan said, its my favourite musuem.
LOL.
b4 tht met up with gwen, acc her to the dental.
the study was quite boring lah.
but free and easy time was funn!
haha taking all the pics and VIDEOS.
lol.
well aft tht headed to town.
damn and i realised i missed the deadline for
LigST assignment.
but town was fun too!
laughed alot with Gwen and Jon.
super funny esp the sausages. haha.
:D

went sch today with Xinni and Gwen.
(:
then town with SiRu.
been sucha long time since ive seen tht girl!
spent so much today!

guess its time to hit my assignments.
i almost said hit the books.
realised i dnt have books anm.

wah i really need a break.
been feeling damn lethargic these days.

as much as i refuse to accept this fact,
i knw things btwn us has changed so much.
it will nvr be the same agn.
the things we did, the things we said,
all seemed like decades away.

i'll learn to let go this time.

2005-07-10T18:02:00.000+08:00

have you ever wondered wht it feels
when its all over?
wondered how it feels when you have
to start anew?
never knowing, where you're going when
you face a brand new day?
it used to be that way.
now i just close my eyes and say.

i just wna breathe again.
learn to face the joy and pain.
discover how to laugh a lil, cry a lil, live a lil more.
i just wna face the day.
forget abt the woes of yesterday.
mayb if i hope a lil, try a lil more.
i'll breathe again.

starting out again is nvr easy.
disappointments come and go but life still moves on.
with a bit of luck, its a brand new start.
that might just work my way.
no need to walk away.
dont wna live life's replay.

things will work out fine.
if you cant find the courage to look pass the night.
to see the break of dawn.

breathe again-juwita suwito

OST from The Outsiders.
haha i like the lyrics :)

anyhow,
the past week was tiring.
tryin to catch up on all the assignments and projs.
nt like ive completed them anw.
haha.

but sch's bearable with my funky clsmates.
haha laughing practically evry mmt.
LOL.
oh and we tk so many pics!
gwen's cam are almost filled w my pics lah.
hahaha.
didnt knw i tk so many pics with her cam!

2005-07-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

tryin trying to finish the ComDI shoebox
exhibition.
hate it when yahoo.com gives so much
irrelevant info.
bt oh wells.
at least jay chou is here to spur me on!
haha okay i sound as if he's beside me.

the thought of those assignments i owe.
:(

2005-07-04T18:27:00.000+08:00

TONNES of assignments to do.
Visco, ConDI, SPFEX, MTPRE.
im gna start LATER! haha.

anw, Ligst was boring as usual.
bt the lesson didnt tk long.
so i shant complain.
haha.
towned with xinni and johnathan.
actually to ARTFRIEND.
my first time gg town with my clsmates!
ok thts nt so glam aft all. haha.
saw fish and meiyan.
and sm other familiar faces.

ooooohh.
and dinah asked me abt indochine ytd.
haha.

2005-07-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

after spending like four hrs on my color,
i realised.. i might have the the whole thg WRONGLY!
damn. nt gna redo it. so many stuffs uncompleted! :/
i hope nancy wont gif me low marks!
ahhh...

2005-07-01T14:28:00.000+08:00

LARI(beyond expectations) i wish you would jus disappear. says:
UGH

LARI(beyond expectations) i wish you would jus disappear. says:
i prolly need to meet you

LARI(beyond expectations) i wish you would jus disappear. says:
or else i will die

- xin ; says:
haha me too

- xin ; says:
i need to seek solace in you

- xin ; says:
LOL

wah i feel like fcuk now.
been pushing aside these issues for such
a long time, thinking they'll jst be resolved
by themselves. but they jst come hitting
back at you all at one go.

tell me how am i supposed to take this.

but thanks to pervert.
u mke me feel nt tht unwanted.
at least u cant wait to see me.
haha tho this sounds damn stupid of me.
bt oh wells.

and anw, i skipped sch today.
with several EXCUSES or reasons.
1) i overslept
2) i tried to get a cab, no uncles wna stop!
3) it was 10 plus by then
4) i haven finished my MTPRE assignments.
i almost did, till i realised i did it all wrondly. WTF.
wah my two hrs all wasted.
5) i haven finished my color assignments too.
(dont evn knw hw to start on it.)
6) connie and kenneth told me they nt gg for lessons.
(haha)
7) im in such a foul mood by then with all those stuffs
in my head. i shall jst stay at hm and hibernate.

the above is nt meant to be read actually.
but jst for mking myself feel btr.

on a brighter note,
im meetin xiu ltr. :)

then mayb pervert :)
i'll do anyth to mke u feel btr!
ice cream on me ltr lah.
since ure so broke.
MACS 25cents. (hahah)

then LAZYBUMS tmr for a bash! :D

thr's ALOT of assignments to complete by nxt wk!
all the big projs...

feel so much btr now.
i SHANT dwell on things anm.
mmmm..

2005-06-30T18:53:00.000+08:00

i wasted my whole day agn :(
the one thg im ever good at is wasting time and
procrastinating.

ComDI was crap lah.
at 930am and we were dismissed :/

a good thing im meetin pervert tmr.
ive got so much stuffs to tell her!
and pervert! if ure reading this,
dont worry abt ur bio/math k!
it'll be fine!! :D
love love!

mm i think ive sm trusting issues here.

2005-06-28T10:17:00.000+08:00

hehh.
listening to WO AI NI now..
reminds me of myra's ju, Te Amo!
and erm.. haha! tht shuai ge, ZI QIN!!
okay enuff of fa-ing huachi. :x

i hate checkin my webmail.
always gives me this feelin tht i
missed out so much or whteva.
or tht alot of stuffs are still undone.
ahhh im dreadin sch now lah.
hols pls cum sooon!! :D

anw, i finished my color last night!!
yayyy.
gna start on sculpture.
others have alr finished their models,
and im still on my idea.
damn damn damn.

mmm.. i cant wait for thursday!
:D
HOPE SO.
haha.

and i wna watch ALOT LIKE LOVE!!

2005-06-27T17:18:00.000+08:00

i came home str aft sch today(12pm),
hoping to finish up my assignments,
err i mean touch on them.
but i went str to my bed and slept till 430.
then i came online.
so all in all, i still didnt do anyth!!
omg.
i shall go off SOOOOON..
mmmm...

all i want in this whole damned life is
you and nothing else.

2005-06-26T18:39:00.000+08:00

i dont like these rollercoaster rides we've been taking.
oh wells.

2005-06-25T21:45:00.000+08:00

Qihang was gooood!!
seemed so strange tht im watching Qihang
as an audience this time. my god, im rly old!
it seemed so easy, like jst watchin it,
but thinking back on the times we spent
so much effort and time, it rly aint tht easy.
thumbs up for all of them!
am really really proud of Huahui :D

met so many people whom i haven seen
for soooooo long.
awww really miss them ALOT!
the white, red and green badge!!
and AND!! veronica ang!
my dearest chi tr. ahhh..
i wna be back thr :(

the familiar feeling jst hit me evrywhr!
really miss st nicks and Huahui and Qihang.

well anw,
went J8 swensens for dinner.
haha with all the funny ppl ard,
we laughed until stomachache ok!
haha.
and i got a new phone today!
-beams
evn tho its an old model.
haha like wht wai said,
careless ppl like us shldnt carry good phones.
haha.

happy happy day.

but looking at the pile of assignments i
hafta complete. argh.
i cnt get my ass off to start on them!
and its like im nt as talented plus
im spendin so much less time than
anyone else, omg i feel so stressed nw!
cnt slack anymre !

2005-06-20T21:40:00.000+08:00

even if this wont assure happiness,
but all i am is loving you.
still you, after all. (:

2005-06-18T21:19:00.000+08:00

damn.
i feel nolstagia sinking in agn.

2005-06-15T12:46:00.000+08:00

haha.
my blog's been stagnant for like 1/2 mth!

well,
to sum it up.
sch has been gooooood. :D
cept for the projs and assignments.
i guess ive mde the right choice so far.
and and! my schmates/coursemates
whtsoever are all funny and funky ppl!
though ive been suan-ed for at least
26383943 times EVERYDAY,
im glad to find ppl of my same
wavelength. LOL.

the site visit to 1 Fullerton was so cool!
i mean, we get to walk ard esplanade durin
lesson times! :D
and another excuse to tour the whole of cityhall,
for PROJECT purpose!
discovered San Marco, the Lighthouse.
oh man, the view from thr's breathtaking!
and like the Supreme Court and stuffs.
like WOW, totally!

but BUT,
i haven found any inspirations on my sculpture.
and im supposed to be doing work now!
got too carried away by blogs and friendster.
it seems such a long time since ive touched
my comp? haha.

okay, this entry's full of crap.
byebye.

2005-06-01T00:25:00.000+08:00

it's what i go to school for.

i almost died during DaDra today.
i was the slowest in cls.
and i hope i dnt flunk the hands-on.
i rather use my hands to draw than to
use stupid AutoCAD.
it refuses to listen to me.
ahhh.
oh but thnks to kenneth and johnathan's
help, i completed my hands on!
heng ar.. :/

okay the honey moon period's over.
assignments coming up.
ahhh.

Great Singapore Sale!!
bt dnt have any shopping luck these days.
:(

since the sch hols here,
i really hope for some gatherings.
BUT, my early day's MONDAY only!
damn damn.

this is utterly random.
haha i jst needed to rant.

SUPPRESSED TOO MUCH ALR LAH.
haha!

2005-05-29T11:00:00.000+08:00

my saturday was goooooood :D

met up with xiu and wai in the mrng,
for KLUNCH.
didnt get hyped up or ath cos we were
jst too lazy! LOL.
ohoh, whn i was singing SHOU FANG KAI,
steffi came in!!
and we sang it tgt.
how coincidental.
i was thinking of her whn the song was playing!
double grins-

shopping was bad lah.
didnt get to buy any clothes cos either cos it
looked disgusting on me or it didnt have my size
or it was TOO EXPENSIVE. :(
plus, looking at the crowd kills my mood
for shopping or anyth else.
xiu left for work and wai shopped ard w me.
haha thnks girl!

then i rushed home to meet my mahjong kakis!
THAT STUPID BIRD,
she replied me 'cant wait to see _ _ _ _ _'
too embarrassing to type tht word out!
haha she mde me luff in the middle of nowhr can.
so fish, kang and dor stayed over!
haha kang's SPICEGIRL! (i bet she's gna WAH LAO! whn
she read this) haha.
dor's HEIHEI.
and i become melony ok. :
(pronounced as ME-LA-NIE)
hahaha.

yayy i gotta see all the ppl i missed!
:D
<3 all of them!

2005-05-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

adapting was never easy for me.
i hate new environments.
i dislike making new friends,
or rather having to make new friends.

ihateitihateit.

2005-05-23T10:48:00.000+08:00

i keep looking at my timetable.
haha mayb cos im too excited. :/
ok im rly excited for friday's lesson,
COLOR!! my tcher's NANCY. LOL.

okay lah random.

byebye!

2005-05-20T23:49:00.000+08:00

i went for orientation today :/
for one matric card, i stayed in sch for
ten hours!
but it was unexpectedly funn.
design students are all so bonded and
enthu mans.

aww and ive got lessons until 6pm for three days.
wht is this!!
how am i gg to tell suhaimi tht i cant work..
oh no.

err i hope i'll have a gd start in sch.
(:

2005-05-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

my 17 came and went.
but it was goood (:
compasspt holds memories now.
haha!
thanks for all the msges, calls, surprises
and company.

and i missed my orientation.
serve me right if i go sch nxt tue
without any knowledge of anyth,
evrth and NO FRIENDS! ahhh.

WAH LAO.
sm ppl very disappointing lor.

2005-05-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

larissa thia just said sth so touching,
i nearly cried.

friends like this dont come easily.
pervert, i'll NVR allow us to drift apart ok!!

ive got a simple yet hard-to-achieve bday wish.
tht is..
to see all my dearly missed frens agn.
the fckers.
the suckies.
the suckseas.

haha and alot more of cos.

2005-05-09T13:50:00.000+08:00

so many questions in my mind.

and i very well know tht thr aint any answers
for or to these questions.

being happy is a choice.
but choice can stimes be an illusion.
yes, and how many lucky ppl can actually
have this ability to choose?

what can my life be all about?
how am i going to continue from here,
this very step ive stopped.
dreams may serve mre heartaches.
and stimes much better if left as dreams.
wht happens when you live ur dream and
realise its not all as you thought?

it chills me just to think of the ugliness of
mankind. how selfish can man get.
the crap about love winning evrth else.
oh love, its just another thing for us mankind
to mke ourselves feel better about ourselves.

this is when i stop believing.

2005-05-07T12:21:00.000+08:00

ahh i wna get well soon.
oh damn it.
this feels like crap.

im starting to miss many ppl, many things.

the fckers.
the suckies.
the suckseas.
the huahui.
the chariticians.

i want to be back in st nicks.

2005-05-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

i dont understand why i allow myself to
be hurt by your insensitive remarks and
actions once and again.
there seems to be NO end to this vicious cycle.

but im very sure this time,
im gna break the cycle.

damn my mind's in a twirl now
i cant think properly.

all i feel is resentment.

2005-04-30T00:47:00.000+08:00

heard tht YELLOW HOUSE GOT FIRST!!
yayyy :D

ahh anw
work was BUSY today.
hardly had the time to rest.
ok nono not rest. haha.
xiu came visit me today!
so sweeeeet of her eh.
love her mans.

well i cant pretend tht im rly disappointed
w smone. to the extent tht im rly qt pissed
with her. like broken promises and omg,
HOW FAKE CAN U GET?
ahhh wells.

might be stoppin to blog.
ive got no life to talk about la.
though im pretty happy w my life now (:

2005-04-29T11:58:00.000+08:00

haha... correction.
SN sports day is TODAY.
omg.

2005-04-29T00:25:00.000+08:00

i dnt understand why i still care abt
ur replies till this date.

why the hell am i caring anw..

anw,
read wai's blog!

wai!
i miss you so much can.
and our sunglade stayovers!
lets have one soon aiights!
before my sch reopens and thn we'll all
be too bz to meet up.
love love!

i miss the fckers la.

btw, i saw carol today!
hello i was being so stupid.
went to lk for her at her wkplace.
didnt see her ard, so i paced up and down,
and finally i asked the girl thr,
'are ur rings from germany?'
hahah.
cos i wasnt too sure abt tht shop's name
only rmbed the rings r frm germany.
and the girl said yes.
so i pretended to lk at the rings.
AS IF I WAS GG TO BUY.
thn i finally asked,
'do you knw carol?'
OMG la.
you knw tht woman dyed her hair w/o telling me!
im so jealous :x
my hair color's running off la.
haha big time to do sth to my hair alr.
its bloody out of shape too.
but according to eunice..
i dnt have much hair so i shldnt thin it anm.
ahhh how....
hahah simon sent me home today!
my god it was my first time on a bike since
ten++++++ yrs ago.
SCARY lehh.
but quite fun la.

st nicks sports day on sat!
who wna go back??
:))

oh anw,
i think smbody's very sweeet :)
hehh.

2005-04-27T15:44:00.000+08:00

past experiences tell me tht high hopes always
bring great disappointment.

so before i get too happy as yet,
i'd better curb myself.

2005-04-25T14:58:00.000+08:00

meeting my babyyyyy later!
haha okay this is misleading.
its my fav partner xiu anw. :D

omg we chatted for like 3hrs on msn jst nw,
and we're gg to meet each other in less than
an hour. haha.

cant stand it!
evryone's sending me NUDGE!
grr.

tata off to prepare.
tht girl's gna treat me to MANTOU ltr!
aft i told her treatin me to this is much
mre worth it than yami yogurt.
mantou's $2, yogurt $2.30.
ok go ahead n roll ur eyes!
haha yayy Crystal Jade once agian :))

2005-04-25T00:56:00.000+08:00

even the best fall down sometimes
even the wrong words seem to rhyme
out of the doubt that fills your mind
you finally find, you and i collide

collide. howie day.

RAHH. im so confused.
about my feelings.

anyhow,
been reading Memoirs of a Geisha lately.
like evn tho i borrowed the book 723681361 mths
ago from wai.
seriously, u realise the world's nt tht pretty
and evryone aint tht nice aft all.
guess my life was jst too simple and comfortable
last time tht i didnt comprehend hw this damn
world operates.
now i do.
im sorry this sounds really cynical and stupid.
mayb evn absurd but to those who knw me well
will know how fcuking naive and gullible i am.
perhaps its cos im so used to having nice ppl ard me,
tho some hypocrites,
tht im really nt quite used to hostility.

i feel like ive aged a hundred yrs during these four mths.
didnt knw growing up was tht difficult.

but like Chiyo, (protagonist in tht bk)
im gna accept this harsh fact and deal with it.

on a brighter note,
i bought my first book ever OF MY OWN ACCORD.
tuesdays with morrie. :D

and i really agree tht books cnt be compared to
real life experience.
i mean like u might do well academically.
but u can perform like an idiot at work.
get wht i mean?
a pity i suck at both.

2005-04-24T01:28:00.000+08:00

i hate changes.
yea damn and my life is full of changes right now,
which is makin me a sad and angsty girl.

oh well.

2005-04-18T23:12:00.000+08:00

i had moodswings for the whole damn day.

im nt tht happy whn i talk to you anm,
cos i feel the distance btwn us now.
HAI.

but anyhow,
bought sylvester's album today!
thnks to Ru's $10 voucher. :D
i think they did injustice to him,
giving him such poor packaging.

and i went church.

k byebye.

2005-04-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

my stomach has been upset since god knws whn.
and im scarin myself tht i might be ill or sth.
ok CHOYx3

i need sm help here.
im a seventeen ok sixteen, who does nt
knw hw to cook porridge.
i only knw hw to reheat food.

this entry's incoherent.
i jst wnted to blog sth.
its raining monkeys n bananas n i wonder
how the hell am i gg to meet my fren ltr.

anyhow,
i had a good/bad sunday i cant rly decide.
ok the night was bad.
but the day was alright.
and i dnt feel lke toking abt it anm.
DID I MENTION I HATE SUNDAYS?
apparently i jst did.

ahhh dnt read this entry.
my mind's like a HUGE blank but thn agn,
ive all sorts of thoughts jumbled up.
tht explains the result of this stupid entry.
u ask ppl nt to read, whn they jst finished readin
ur entry?

ok byebye.
i wna go hibernate now.
I HATE RAINY DAYS.
it mkes u gloomy and sad.
mr sun pls come out.

2005-04-17T00:23:00.000+08:00

had a great time w the suckseas girls! :D
ilovethem!

met up with fish, steffi and le bitch!
we were terribly late.
and fi told me a piece of shocking news.
haha!

dinner at fish&co.
slacked at steffi's place!

yayy happy happy.

off to bed now.
darn tired.

2005-04-16T14:51:00.000+08:00

am back from stayover! :D
it was evn better than i expected.

so the two girls lied to me abt nt being
able to give me a surprise anm.
and they give me a bigger surprise!

i called wai..
she ws like im with fabian now.
so which flavor u wnt?
for the bicardi breezer.

thn i called xiu aft work.
HERS WAS WORSE.
im like 'why u sound so funny?'
she replied 'ohoh cos thr's a cockroach'

AND THEY SPRUNG OUT.
hahaha.
with xiu's fren jeremy.

such a pleasant surprise i swear! ;D
haha i was lost for words. ok exaggeratin.

but im really touched!
like they mde so much effort for a surprise.
it was nt evn my bday or sth.
((:

and wai gave me a cookie!

so we went sunglade to put down our stuffs.
oh before i forgot, jeremy left alr.
he helped us buy e breezer only.
in case anyone misunderstands he was
included in e stayover.

thn off to prata-ing!
but we felt so sick aft tht :/
decided to walk all the way back to
mke ourselves feeling less sinful.

haha.
came the poolside fun.
drank breezer, ate godiva.
wai fell aslp.
xiu and i talked abt the freaking edu system in s'pore.
HOW POLITICAL.

had macs breakfast this mrng!!

a pity it was so short,
cos all of us have got sth on today.

haha.
sorry if this entry's boring.
i jst wnt to include lil details for memory.
had such a great stayover.
i hope xiu's dad dnt sell or rent sunglade out.

i love the LAZYBUMS.
im your girl, ure my girl, we your girls
don't you know that we love you
*for the lazybums. =)

suckseas girls outing later.
i miss steffi ng SO MUCH.
haven been seeing her since god knows when.

im a happy girl this wkend. :D

going to shop with my mum+aunty tmr!
yayyy.
nt to forget ive got my pay!
and its more than i expected.
but im still not too sure how much is it.
LOL.

2005-04-15T11:21:00.000+08:00

mighty excited!
going for sunglade stayover w lazybums!
LOL i cant wait man.

BUT! their supposedly surprise visit for me
at work's GONE!
due to sm stuffs which cropped up.
ahhhh!
:(
bt im touched la. hehe.

LOL.
and we'll have our usual stayovers+drinking session.
yayyy.
and the poolside fun.

damn TP mailed me ytd,
abt sm forms which i didnt hand in.
and they expect me to send it down tdy.
wth.

anw, caughtguess who ytd.
tht show's so sweeeet and hilarious.
ashton kutcher's cute. :D

2005-04-14T15:05:00.000+08:00

yesterday you asked me something
i thought you knew
so I told you with a smile
its all about you
then you whispered in my ear
and you told me to
said you make my life worth while
its all about you
and i would answer all your wishes
if you ask me to
but if you deny me one of your kisses
dnt know what id do
so hold me close and say three words like you used to do
dancing on the kitchen tiles its all about you

mcfly. all about you.
I LOVE THIS SONG! :D

2005-04-14T00:22:00.000+08:00

laughed so much during work today.
haha.

such a lucky thing tht my fren told me
abt keeping a history of msn convo.
ok i knw im slow.
haha.
was readin my convo with ___ jst now.
cldnt stop smiling+laughin to myself like
an idiot in front of the comp screen.
i better curb myself,
lest the history repeats itself.

kiphoe and i jst realised our bdays fall on the same day!
like how coincidental!
and he promised me a different one this yr.
cos i told him abt my deep hidden fear of celebrating
my birthday. HA.

i hope xiu's orientation turns out well tmr!
i cant wait for the wkends!
stayover at sunglade and meetin up the sucksea girls! =)

2005-04-12T23:19:00.000+08:00

had a pretty day!

sudden msg from wai to ask to meet up.
so we went BREEKS for brownie with ice-cream!
yumyum.
thn went fareast to meet xiu and qing.
had XXL chicken and erm the 1/2priced waffle.
thn went scotts for yami yogurt.
can u tell tht we've been eating our way thru town!
wht gathering lor.
mre like get together and pig out.
oh! and thn went ps to find carol chua,
who was selling SAUSAGES. hahaha.
ahhh i miss all of them alot,
esp my WAI!
we are so bitchy la. LOL.
it feels jst like wht we were last time.
:))

thn work agn.
fred started singing MR LONELY whn she saw me la!
and she greeted me with a LONELY on msn jst nw.
LOL.

off i go.

2005-04-11T21:51:00.000+08:00

IM A HAPPY GIRL TODAY!
very very happy.
like WOW!
thank you for making me so happy!!

im sorry.
cant contain my happiness.
:D

2005-04-10T00:50:00.000+08:00

sudden felt of disappointment and angst.
at how evrth turned out, how certain ppl turned out to be.
i'd really want to deem it as moodswing.

pervert and me are kind of discussing abt hyprocrisy n stuffs.
but anyhow, she made me feel better.
evn tho our pt of view differs.
and thts why she mde me feel better.
to see things in a different angle.

after awhile you stop believing in the beauty of friendship
you cant remember how the happy times were like
and everything seems so dark and ugly
but after the rain comes sunshine
and there's a light at the end of the dark tunnel
you will have ure answers someday
and unexpected things may happen as a result of all this shittiness
you never know right?
-adapted from larissa thia yi ping.
:D

i cant help but to paste this down.
such a beautiful way of putting things across.

we are feeling things tht both of us been thru before,
tk turns la.

i jst hope i can get my answers one day.

thanks pervert.
i feel so much better now.
(:
LOVE YOU SO MUCH CAN.

2005-04-09T13:33:00.000+08:00

i had a pretty wonderful day.
yesterday i mean!
cos i got to meet up with fish and alsa le bitch!

they're still so funny la.
and le bitch's as lame as ever!
LOL.
i haven been laughing so hard since
dno whn.
hehh.

they're two ppl i'd nvr regret knowing
(:

oh! chatting with wai now!
i miss her like hell can.
been so long since ive seen her :(
and due to our crapped up time-
table.
its either shes got sch, xiu got work
or ive got work.
damn.
ahhh. i hope to see wai soon! :(

2005-04-05T13:01:00.000+08:00

ive been blogging way too much.
ugh.
im B O R E D.
which ignited my spastic-ness.

evn sleeping doesnt work for me now.
im sufferin from insomnia! :(

ive this great urge to go on a shopping spree.
but ive jst a fcukin two dollars in my purse.
payday payday!
10 mre days.
pervert mailed me her shopping list.
silly woman.
LOL.
lets jst forget abt the big saving plan.
have a great spending plan!

i want my guess? top.
i want my forever21 top.
i want my roxy tote bag.
i want my topshop tote bag too.
i want my Zen. (or mayb opt for iPod)
i want my digicam :(

im a sad and greedy kid.

oh ive to do pre-enrolment medical checkup tmr.
damn.
i hate checkups.
but mayb i can ask the dr abt plastic surgery
tmr. HAHA.
i need a major make-over!
i look baaaaaaad!
but makeover also needs money.
evrything talked abt money.

im so bored i need magazines.
i finished lime,cleo,8days,seventeen.
is thr ath else which is nice?
mayb i shall get FHM. LOL.

how unhappening my life is.
no school. NO EYECANDIES!
i wna go back SN!
LOL i think my eyecandy looks even
better now! :D

byebye.

2005-04-04T22:41:00.000+08:00

listening to im all outta love now.
LOL.
reminds me of the old k-ing days.
whn the fckers wld sing at the top
of our lungs.
AS IF WE ARE OUT OF LOVE.
haha.

anw.
had a pretty good day.
went meet xiu aft work.
hadta to walk in the bloody rain
from orchard mrt to tanglin mall!
grr.
headed to rp, cos tht girl needs to
hand in her enrolment form.
the dumplings+fishballs thr's VERY nice!
haha.
and the laptops damn tempting.
i wna get one!

caught spanglish with xiu.
tht show damn long la.
and i dnt really find it nice.
too draggy. and w/o much substance.
jst tht the woman and her daughter's
superrrr pretty.

walked ard aft tht.
and my wishlist jst gets longer :x

hiak.
the stupid enrolment thg's damn
troublesome la.
grr.
seems like evryone else's gg ngee ann!
anyone gg tp?
tell me!
and tp's having orientation on
my bday.
SUCKS EH.
i hate orientations.
wna jst pon and forget abt making
new frens la.
be an anti-social freak in my new
sch.
LOL. jst kidding.

2005-04-03T16:12:00.000+08:00

work ytd was pretty fun.
i think i talked alot mre than usual.
haha.
i cldnt stop laughing whn i realised
simon's got friendster+msn acc!
he said 'lao beng jiu bu ke yi wan comp meh?!'
LOL.

and kiphoe came to look for me aft work.
was super surprised he rly came.
cos i was joking only.
well, i think i caused ALOT of trouble to him.
from pasir ris, he came to cityhall and thn
we walked along the esplanade+boat/clarke quay
(i cant differentiate)
we jst kept walking for i think mre than one hr.
and we missed e last train.
but luckily thr NightRider!
and we managed to get home still.
IM REALLY SORRY KIPHOE.
and i promised him a treat. haha.

siru called me on my way home.
cos her left eye kept twitching.
and she was worried tht sth bad wld happen to
her or her close ones.
but cos nth happen to her,she
got so worried i didnt reply her msg.
HOW CAN YOU FIND SUCH A GD FREN?! :D
anw i dnt believe the eye-twitching thg.
its jst cause ur muscles' tired.
thts all.
cos mine twitch SOMETIMES too.
but bad things happen ALL THE TIME.
hahaha.

had to go sao mu this mrng.
i slept at 3 and woke up at 4.
which in turn, mde me look like
im jst one of those residing thr.
okay CHOY!
i basically slpt thru the whole thg in
the car la.

i think i suck eh!
feel so guilty now.
hai how how!

MR LONELY's stuck in my head!

2005-04-02T15:39:00.000+08:00

qi li xiang always reminds me of akk.
i dnt knw why either.

thr was so much memories.
tho it didnt end in a very good note,
(how can thgs end so good anw)
but i still smile whn i think back
of the days.

seems like a long time coming aye?

still smone very special.
and im still glad u were once in my life.
:)

2005-04-02T14:48:00.000+08:00

never could imagine, life without you
from the moment you walked into my world
never knew how long a loving flame could burn
but losing you has forced me to learn
that we can't change the way we feel inside
and every try at love never turns out right
we both know it's better if we just let it go
so let's have

Chorus:
one last kiss
one last touch
one last tender moment between us
one last dance
to our first song
while pretending there's nothing wrong
let's stay here for awhile and
cherish every moment we're in denial
we both know
its better if we just let it go

everytime I try to take a stand at all
i see your face again and I fall
in the middle of the night there's the scent of a rose
the smell of your perfume I suppose
but we can't change the way we feel inside
and every try at love never turns out right
we both know it's better if we just let it go
so let's have

Chorus

baby if we met each other under a different sky
maybe then things would be much better between you and I
we could always hold on to this one special thing we share
but it would be too much for us to bear
so let's have

Chorus

we both know
it's better if we just let it go

power98 plays good songs.

am in an incredible good mood now.
retail therapy really works. :D

lets hope work ltr will be good too.

siru's got her enrolment package alr.
I HAVENT!
went to check my mailbox this mrng.
EMPTY. scary :/

i think fiona xie's really hooooot.
she looks good in almost evrth!
LOL i bought the 8days cos of her.
im not an avid fan of her la,
guess im jst as superficial as anyone
else. LOL.

smone jst mde me happier (:

i kind of like the rainy weather these days.

2005-04-02T01:00:00.000+08:00

MSN sucks!!
i cant sign in at all.
keep asking me to troubleshoot.
GRR.

i think im rly addicted to this thg call computer.
BAD BAD BAD!

2005-03-31T22:55:00.000+08:00

when you're close to tears remember
some day it'll all be over

grrr.
i lost my fone AGAIN.
hai.

i shld nvr get myself an expensive fone/wallet.
cos in the end i'll end up losing it too.

evrth jst freakin goes wrong tdy.

cept for the part im with xiu.
happy happy. :D
okay so lets all tok abt happy stuffs!

lunched at breeks.
had our fav yami yougurt!
walked ard at far-east.
yayy ive got a top and a skirt and earrings!
major happiness!
been a long time since ive bought clothes.
the last time was.. tht wk aft CNY!
long long time!
and xiu bot her first shirt ever too.
haha both of us are so happy, like two
lil children who jst got sweets for the
first time of their life.
and as u can tell,
i spent all my money today.
$80+++.
hahaha im broke.
waiting for my payday now!
15days!!

oh and my roxy wallet went out of stock alr.
and i dnt think im buying tht anm.
evn tho i rly wnt it. :(
i jst dnt wna have it jst to lose it.
err this applies to sth else too.

okok, back to our day.
so we went centrepoint in an attempt to get my ribbon!
but ended up at OG instead.
hemisphere!
we got so enticed by the aroma of fries at the cafe thr.
haha.
so we ended up thr. :/
tht hemisphere cafe has nice ambience!
like tht place!
and i told xiu SOMETHING.
and it turns out tht she alr knew.
LOL nth ever escapes her eyes man.
or mayb i was too obvious!
HEHE.

so it was a pretty fine day aft all.

mm.
my dear pervert hasnt been feeling too gd lately.
hey pervert if ure reading this,
jst wna let u knw tht pervert's will
ALWAYS be here for you!
and like wht u say,
transition to sth new is always hard.
but i knw u can adapt to it soon dear!
ive faith in you!
love (:

well.
i guess i'll be facing the same prob
once sch starts.
the transition's evn greater.
jst like whn i first stepped into st nicks.
and erm.. MI?
this time's gna be worse la.

mayb the bottom line's tht
NEVER get too attached to anything.
because nothing's forever.
forever is jst a word which nvr
serves its purpose.

ok u can say ive got a jaundiced view
of life now.
but luckily, i practise escapism.

2005-03-30T15:32:00.000+08:00

i wanna make you smile
whenever you're sad,
carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
all I wanna do
is grow old with you.

i'll get your medicine
when your tummy aches;
build you a fire if the furnace breaks.
oh, it could be so nice
growin' old with you.

i'll miss you, kiss you,
give you my coat when you are cold,
need you, feed you,
even let you hold the remote control.

so let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink;
put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
oh, I could be the man
who grows old with you.
i wanna grow old with you.

wht a perfect song to listen to in
this weather. (:
how sweeeeeeet is this song!
awwww.

2005-03-30T15:05:00.000+08:00

im boreddddd.

its raining monkeys n bananas outside.
wht a gd time to jst stay n mope ard
at home. HA.
but ive got work ltr.
let's hope it'll be a good day at wk,
with no dumb mistakes mde.

im startin to doubt my decision.
actually its mre of doubting myself.
ive zilch idea if im up to it.
and its gettin me worried.

dont worry abt tmr, for tmr will worry
abt itself. each day has enough worries
of its own.

read this in the bible.
and it always helps whn im worried.
LOL im so holy.

mm.
and thn agn,
if i were to doubt myself,
how can i mke others believe in me?

kk, on a brighter note,
tmr's OFF DAY!
yayyyy.
gg shopping with xiu.
retail therapy aye?
hehh ive got my fees frm tutoring my cousin alr.
yayyy.
but jst 50bucks i'll have a hard time tryin
to decide which to buy first!
:(

writing helps me sort out my thots.
so does blogging smhow.

2005-03-29T23:40:00.001+08:00

wend' ive become so numb, i cant feel you there. says:
xin!
wend' ive become so numb, i cant feel you there. says:
love you!
wend' ive become so numb, i cant feel you there. says:
are you upset?
wend' ive become so numb, i cant feel you there. says:
cheer up!
wend' ive become so numb, i cant feel you there. says:
haha i gtg
wend' ive become so numb, i cant feel you there. says:
night!

LOL tht was wend. :D
thanks alot dear!
i'll cheer up kae.
hope ure adaptin well in sa!
love love.

2005-03-29T02:04:00.000+08:00

sent my phone for repair.
damn and all my pics are dlted.
plus my calendar notes.
grr. i hate 3200.

and my only only pic of ___'s dlted too.
:(
wht's over is over anw.

lunched with siru tdy.
ytd i mean.
before meetin up w her fren, noel.
work tdy was superrrr slack.
barely a soul ard.
i rly like my colleagues at wk.
they are all rly nice and patient.
cos im jst an airhead whn it comes to wk.
hai.
i feel damn bad tht i keep making STUPID
mistakes at wk! :/
its like i cnt evn sweep/mop the floor properly.

i dnt bother to mke myself clear these days.
and this will cause misunderstandings, which is bad.

god im gettin so cynical.

2005-03-28T12:05:00.000+08:00

i dislike life without sch.

and e irony's tht,
i used to pon sch :/

i can feel nolstagia sinking in agn.
YES AGN.
i miss st nicks.
so much so tht i hope i can get retained.
HAHA.

i rly miss the fckers.
like we used to see each other almost evrydae.
and like wht qing says..
how many ppl can actually complete ur lines
with jst a facial expression?
evn tho we may have gatherings,
which is qt so impossible since evryone's so bz,
thgs aint the same anm.

this sounds stupid i knw.
i cnt expect thgs to ever be e same.

i miss having lessons in our egyptian clsrm too.

hai.....

im feeling so insecure now abt evryth.
mayb im jst moodswinging.

anw thnks spongy for hearing me rant.
his optimism jst mkes me feel btr.
u cnt be situated in one place forever,
uve gotta learn how to adapt.

quoteunquote larrissa;
what wont kill me just makes me stronger.
yessssss.

ahhh for now i jst hope xiu's DAE can
be successful. (:

2005-03-27T18:38:00.000+08:00

im back!

cos ms low wailing asked me to blog abt her.
hahaha.

ok firstly, THANK YOU so much for helping
me fold up my jeans on fri!!
hahaha. u were so full of motherly love,
it touched me. HEHE.
ok i hear a SEAH YI XIN!!
LOL, she likes to call me by my full name btw.
she and tht ng pei xiu la.
hahaha.
they threatened to put my BIG head dwn to the POT
whn we were at HOTpot.
notice HOT.
but HOTPOT was nice...
esp their dessert!
oh ms wai noble-ly gave me her man tou.
so nice of her eh? :D
she bought me over by a man tou.
hahaha.

i love the lazybum gatherings we have.
tho we end up feeling all so sluggish.
esp stayovers at sunglade..
whn we have the whole condo by ourselves.
and we'll get to the pool for night chats.
nt to forget our companion.
BICARDI BREEZER!
we are such alcoholics :/
FOURBUCKS and tht funky uncle?
the memories will all be etched in heart (:
i love the LAZYBUMS!

oh and i keep bumping into kiphoe these days!
on mon.. and ytd!
suay or no?
lol nt to mention his surprise visit with
alvin on wed!
rly brighten up my day!
nono evening i mean :D
lol in case ure reading this..
i wasnt treatin u as an animal all along lah!
LOL.
thnks for the visit anw!!

laters (:

2005-03-23T11:20:00.000+08:00

this is shit lah..
i hate myself for being so fickle.

appeal, appeal not?
i wish smone can help mke my mind up
for me.

the worse thing's tht i realise i dnt
have much passion for ANYTHING.
damn yes nothing at all.

ppl like me shldnt evn lived.
living without an aim/passion.
why the hell my parents gave birth
to me sixteen yrs ago?

the new sch life's a big worry too.
i take million yrs to adapt to a
new environment.
adapting was nvr easy for me.

2005 has been a fcuk so far.
NOTHING ever goes right for me!
whn i saw the JAE results ytd,
thr wasnt a YAY or a FCUK,
was jst a smile.
A DRY SMILE.
had expected it anw.

lets hope sth comes along to
mke this whole situation btr.

i rly admire myself for being so
optimistic all this time :/

2005-03-22T09:52:00.000+08:00

MOE sucks. JAE sucks.
i bet most ppl agree with me.

but i shall jst stick to it.
might be a blessing in disguise.
(:

supp to meet wai tdy to go hotpot.
bt heard thr's sth wrong with yin's
application.
hope she's doing fine eh.

ahh meeting pervert.
(:
we're gg lib!!

2005-03-21T13:36:00.000+08:00

MY BROTHER SUCKS.
he dlted my LIMEWIRE!
and im deprived of downloading songs nw :(
its the SECOND time btw.
grrrrrr.
and my cousins' got Zen micro now..
payday sooooon pls.

yay its my day off tdy (:
meeting lazybums ltr.
provided ms low wailing can mke it :D
haha.
and she promise to escort me to wk tmr!
okay, mayb jst to the busstop,
and i'll tk the bus thr LONELY-ly.
go to work LONELY-ly.
wai can u bear to let me suffer in loneliness?!
hahaha. yea we're full of shit, crappy n spastic.

ahhh i suddnly miss stnicks and its orange bowl :(
stnicks anyone? (:

my life's so mundane i cnt find much to blog abt.

oh and xiu says,
evrytime she sees;
food, she thinks of me.
___, she thinks of me.
bagua+angkukueh, she thinks of me.
genki+secretrecipe, she thinks of me.
basically im on her mind ALL THE TIME!
conclusion: she's in love with me.
hahaha.

i suddnly tot of my gf joanne!
she's so nice she helped me photocopy my IC!
n she came dwn to pass to me.
(she works in carrefour btw)
i like seeing her cos she mkes me smile! :D

i want Zen i want Zen. -chants

im outta here alrdy.
gotta prepare!

2005-03-20T01:12:00.000+08:00

what goes around comes around

karma's stuck in my head!
haha anw, back from wk nt long ago.
working's pretty funn.
haha ive got nice colleagues!
jst too tiring.
haha im lousy :/

thnks to the lil surprises/visits
i get from some ppl.
rly brightens up my day!
haha.
tho i lke horrible with the apron,
which was too long it covered my jeans
and it almost looks lke a long skirt.
LOL.
haha okok. less complaints.

JAE results out on tue..
PRAY FOR ME PLS.
like wht i told wai..
hopefully its a YAY and nt a FCUK.

things keep gg wrong these days.
:(
nvm.. at least ive got a job nw.

okay im too tired now to continue.
night.

2005-03-18T12:08:00.000+08:00

all i wanna do is grow old with you.

tht song's so sweeet (:

anw, went for huangcheng last night.
we walked one whole big rd to realise tht
we were still at cityhall :/
bt anw, huangcheng was nt bad.
ah cheng was great!!
went cocolatte aft tht.
clubbing! :D
long night i had.
slept at six am this mrng.
ahhh ive got wk ltr!
sry this entry's utterly random.

2005-03-17T11:41:00.000+08:00

i hear our song; it keeps playing on the radio
you're on my mind, I cant let you go
im all alone and I just want you to hold
please take my hand. never let me go
i hear our song it keeps playing on the radioy
ou're on my mind, i cant let you go
please make your mind up, don't see what the future holds

pug jelly, ransom letter!

i like talking to wai on msn!
we are so crap. full of shit.
LOL.
anw im starting wk at Secret Recipe tmr!
so happy!
and i calculated..
fri, sat, sun $25 each day.
wow and i'll have $300 in a mth!!
yay!!
bt still nt enuff for my cam.
mmm i'll tk up a few mre jobs thn!

haha gg huangcheng ltr (:
meeting fifi and bird first.
this entry is crap lah.
im jst bored :D

2005-03-16T12:35:00.000+08:00

somebody help meeeeeee.
im feeling a sense of nolstagia
early in the mrng.
haha i woke up at 12pm tdy!

this long break has served to mke
me become lazier only.
coem to think abt it, the break's
rly long. frighteningly long.
secret recipe pls call me! :(

thinking back on those days,
life was rly simple.
u jst have to go to sch,
try to listen to the trs(this is tough),
TALK to ur frens(this is rly easy),
sleep during lessons,
getting scolded by teachers(on a daily basis),
wait for recess,
aft recess wait for dismissal,
dismissal alrdy think of whr to go.
town? ondo? LOL.

HAHA. tht was my secondary sch life.
and those stuffs tht used to affect
or upset me thn seem so minor now.
nw tht u have to think of ur future,
think of ur life's direction.
this is rly tough.
alot tougher than tryin to listen to
trs aye?

if ure to ask me if i regretted nt studyin
hard, i'll ask you to SHUT UP.
ok, i get rly irritated whn ppl do stuffs
like this.
whts the pt of harpin on issues thts over.
and u cnt do ath to justify the mistake anm.
perhaps only to look forward and move on.
yayyyy move on.

and on moving on..
its sad to see tht ppl uve been close
to, move on without you.
but come to think abt it,
if thts the case, thn dnt bother either.
they're nt worth it.
cherish the friendships btwn u and ppl
who cherish it too.
those who dnt give a damn, thn dnt give
a shit abt them.
this sounds bad. but yes.
i hate this kind of ppl.
chucking u aside nw tht ure nt in their
lives anm.
jst dnt bother to tell me u miss me and
all those shit whn u dnt evn bother to
stay in touch.
yes ask, like whts the point?
dont ever tell me things tht u dnt mean.
thts one of my peeves.

LOL this is a deep one.
i mean my entries are always touchin on issues
superficially.
bt thn agn.. blogs r jst too public la.

like wht wai says,
whts the pt of having a zillion frens who dnt
give a hoot abt you, whn u can a handful of
fabulous ones?

u have rly no idea how many true frens u have,
do you?

for me, im jst thankful i have a handful of them.
(:

on a lighter note,
im gg huangcheng tmr!
to support ah cheng!! haha.
been a long time since ive seen her mans.
go ah cheng!
argh i gotta find my super tomyum cup noodles
for my lunch!
whr are you!

LOL i jst edited my post.
wai told me abt sm TYPO error
and it was horrendous.
luckily she found out, if nt hw am
i gg to face the world!
okay tht was exaggeration.
:b